Step Two: Trophy

I have never won an award.

The popular beautiful girl who is head cheerleader, lead in all the school productions, student body president, and somehow manages to fit in being valedictorian and volunteering at the local soup kitchen? That is not me. I have no soccer medals and no cheer leading trophies; no beauty pageant crowns or sashes.
In fact, I have never been a part of the competition. {Those who don't try, never look foolish. -Wicked} I don't have a competitive bone in my body. The only cheer I know is "D-O-R-K!  Don't Do That Again!  YAY!"** I was always the quiet girl in the back of a classroom getting just good enough grades to stay invisible to teachers. Things didn't change when I left my small town high school for a not quite so small town college.

But somewhere in the past two years I started telling people that my degree was in trophy wife. I can't recall if this shift started after my fifth time changing my major, or if it came about because I got tired of explaining how a bachelors degree in Philosophy would help me in a future career or as a mother. {Surely you can't take classes for the sake of learning instead of the salary they will help you earn.} I do know that by the time I dropped out of Uni it was my standard answer. It was an easy way to diffuse the tension when someone asked about my schooling.
ex:
Person I need to impress for work: "Are you a student here or did you already graduate?" Me: "No. I dropped out." *awkward silence* "Person I need to impress for work: "That is nice." *another awkward silence*
vs.
Me: "I majored in Trophy Wife." Person I need to impress for work: "Ha Ha Ha HA." *Friends for life*

I also can't point out the specific time when it became less of a joke and more of a life goal. Sometime between failing school and when I started this blog I realized that I want to be that perfect house-wife who's hair is only messed up when she's screwing the gardener. Or at least the nearly perfect wife who's children could be in TV commercials and who's house should be in the Parade of Homes.

Despite my past failure and lack of trying, I am determined.
Wish me luck.

**Thanks to Lee Daily for teaching me that cheer.